I was told by a mentor / friend that Claude Monet, had a
signature use of misplaced color. He
purposefully interjected, “islandized”, “orphanized” or in some way “stranded”
a color somewhere in every painting. He
did this because he believed it was necessary to do this as a reminder to the
onlooker and himself that “It” whatever “It” may be, is never perfect. We have
to accept life and gardening “as is”.
I had come to like this thought process because whether I
liked it or not it had already become part of my “style” of designing/
gardening. Perhaps it began as an AADD symptom, a lack of follow through, a
short attention span or just being a newbie without the necessary skill set to
be sure to check every tag in a flat when choosing pre-flowering plants. But an odd thing kept happening, as my design
opportunities “grew”, so did my “mistakes.” ( Humm, a true refection of life, -
the longer, the more!)
And I began to relate
to the unintentional rebel! I saw the
randomness as a natural portrayal of marking the birthplace of a future plant
colony. I thought in my youth “well someone has to be first”, this to me was
God’s Hand and His placement of a pioneer plant. It became a visual of how I saw myself, an
ambassador, a pioneer, but never an orphan, like my mother. I had family, even if there was, at times,
significant distance between myself and my siblings.
Now with my mother gone and my dad passing do I see this “As
Is” gardening with a glimmer of pessimism.
Did I sentence those plants to a life of loneliness? Was I simulating an imagined promise or
portraying nature’s allowance for a certain percentage of efforts to come to a
natural real life, historic end. Are these imperfections the reflections of my
own relationship flaws?
In my effort to do things right, I have made so many
mistakes. I followed work plans,
business plans, family plans, and now my dad’s plan. I followed directions so well I am stranded,
islandized and practically orphanized. I
am staring at another completed project that has left me alone.
I can see I have become for real the unintentional
rebel. I am in what feels like a wrong
or wronged place. It is scary to be away
from the familiar. I don’t know how it
actually happened but I am here and they are elsewhere. The gap is huge so I
look for comfort in my God who knows me and controls everything for my
best. He knows my flaws and loves me “As
Is”. So as I walk pass a flowerbed with
a lone stranded color I remember all the imperfect places where I’ve left my mark and wonder what ever
happened and am grateful that gardening is an “as is” process never finished
and I too am a “work in progress”
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